Skydiving again

So, this Saturday I'm going skydiving for a second time. This, in the big picture of things, is NOT a big deal. But when i reduce my world to just me... it is. Here's why i loved skydiving for the first time: It was the only time in my life that I actually accepted death. Like REALLY accepted it. And you know, i didnt freak out, I was completely ok with it. I had truly accepted it.

What's interesting about it, is that once you've felt death and dealt with it, you pretty much become fearless about alot of other crap that's been holding you back. Suddenly "what that girl might think" doesnt matter for shit anymore, or "I might get fired" is not that big of a deal.

Now, I'm not saying I've become careless.. quiet the opposite. It's made me more focused. You've suddenly re-prioritized alot of things and keep what's really important in mind. I know what I want and I go for it fearlessly and without remorse or hesitation. (I actually find it extremely annoying when people hesitate nowadays.)

It's a very empowering feeling to know not much can derail you.

Of course, not everyone has this experience. Some jump, scream at the rush and go home. I could've dulled my senses, but when i'm doing something for the first time, i really like opening up to the experience - to understand it fully - then pull lessons learned.

Anyway, I recommend it. Check out my last year's jump.

Update: Now that I finished the dive: the second time was even better than the first. No "facing mortality" or "realigning my life" just plain fun. Now i REALLY recommend it. Photos here http://picasaweb.google.com/bsegovia/Skydive2006/

Motivations

I'm a sucker for getting lost in my own mind - letting my thoughts run wild as i try to hang on.

Today i visited a really good nurse friend of mine at the hospital where she works after I promised to deliver her some pizza in exchange for sound medical advise. While i was there, she and I chatted and she told me about her dissatisfaction with her current job and her fruitful search for a new one.

It never really occurred to me that even nurses can hate their jobs - so my mind went racing with the concept.

Now i want to say right now that my internal conversation stopped having ANYTHING to do with my nurse friend and her situation - but instead, everything to do with ANYONE and their plot in life. She did, however, act as the catalyst for my thought train. Anyway... back to racing my mind.

What would lead someone to hate their job? Their co-workers? The pay? The environment? The tasks?

Perhaps the actual role isnt a good fit? But why would someone go through so much training for something that didn't fit? Why would someone find themselves, after spending time, money and energy to get where they were - only to hate it?

All this led me to the topic of motivations. We all do things for different reasons (money, comfort, hunger, love, etc) ... no matter what it is, we each have different motivations for doing it. I started wondering if people do things because they like the idea of doing it... not actually doing it. For example: I like the idea of working in the yard on Saturday (feels good, i accomplished something - beautified my home, etc.) but actually going out and doing it... not so much a fan.

It makes me wonder how many others fall into choices based on how safe or attractive the concept (not the actual action) is. How many of us make choices for the wrong reasons - the wrong motivations? Marriage? Career? Home? Self?

I sometimes fear too many people make decisions based on what they have been told is right for them, but not really figuring out what is actually right for themselves.

I suppose it comes down to being honest with yourself, being able to face the truth - even if it means answering the hardest question you've ever asked yourself. Grab your balls... and do it.